


Brosbands

by MrCourtesy



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Avengers Tower, Bromance, Crack Treated Seriously, Cringe Humor, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Gen, Homoeroticism, Immature Antics, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Steve's Really Young Guys, Stucky if you squint, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Unbeta'd, Unintentional Tony/Pepper Love, Work In Progress, brosbands, but not really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:05:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2752187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrCourtesy/pseuds/MrCourtesy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky are.... straight.</p><p>They are.</p><p>Really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Natasha fixes Steve with a critical look, watching from a distance as she grabs a bite to eat from a nearby food truck as Rodgers and Barnes sit together on a park bench. They laugh together about some inside joke, talking quietly, yet their hands move expressively, shared smiles animated in the bright summer light. She sniffs quietly at Steve’s mocking expression as he screws up his face in an imitation of Tony’s (it’s vey well done; Tony had thrown an apocalyptic fit when a construction crane had swiped through his workshop last week), and tears collect at the creases of Bucky’s eyes with laughter. Suddenly, Steve’s face turns somber as he talks, and James’s flickers on a dime to match it. Throwing an arm around Steve, he pulls his friend close, tucking his head down. It’s a battle for Natasha not to smile at that, but then Barnes pulls Steve’s head up in his hands and presses a tender, slow kiss to Steve’s temple, looking at him with an unnamed sticky sweet emotion. Eyes wide, Steve looks like a day lily in the sun; bright, smiling anew, and wide eyed.  
Natasha nearly drops her gyro. Seriously? She would have sworn on pain of death that the both of them were straight. The pair stay like that for a moment; frozen in the air with more emotion simmering in the air than in a paperback novel. Blinking, Steve turns away, smile still plastered on, and pulls something out of a backpack stetting on the ground to hand to Bucky, who starts talking again, moving his hands at a rate to make the air blur around them.  
Huh. Natasha makes a pact with herself to devote this matter to further research.

——

Clint nearly laughed it off when Natasha brought it up. As part of the unsaid rules and regulations of their Thursday Midnight Ceiling meetings, he had to take it seriously, though, and went about his day casually collecting data.  
He comes to the conclusion that his gaydar must have been broken. Either that, or accept the fact that being part of the Avengers has warped his sense of normal so far off base as to drive it out of universe. Re-examining his findings just pushes it further and further towards Nat’s guess.  
It probably shouldn’t be normal for bro’s to cuddle like that, he surmises as Steve and Bucky curl up together on a couch away from everyone else in the media room, so entwined as to be a working unit, Steve turning the pages of a book with his right hand and Bucky holding the book with his metal arm, the Captain bringing a mug of cocoa towards the free hand without Bucky even having to ask for it. He tries to ignore the sheer domesticity of the scene by turning his head back towards the television, but it seems the bouncing bosoms of George Martin’s universe can’t dull his incredulity. Hawkeye’s vision is beyond perfect, and he couldn’t even see the blaze of a fully matured romance the old couple in the corner radiates. A couple of their giggles reach him over the voices of the actors, and he throws down his bowl of popcorn in a fit of frustration, stalking out of the room without a word.  
“What’s eating him?” Tony asks, looking perturbed as he flicks kernels off of the screen of his tablet.  
Bruce frowns, looking with ill-disguised disgust, “They just killed his favorite character off.”  
Sighing, Tony looks back down at his tablet, twisting the design there. “Told Green Arrow to read the damn book. Some people you just can’t help.”

——

“No.” Bruce states flatly, walking away from the elevator as Clint tries to convince him.  
“Come on? Just watch them for a bit. You’ll see.” Clint is pleading now, desperate to hold on to the hope that some part of him has been left normal since joining the Initiative. “I’m telling you, they go so far past best friends that it’s stupid!”  
“No.” Bruce’s deadpan is so cold that it died somewhere with Julius Caesar. “Go fly somewhere else with your gossip.” Clint throws his hands up in exasperation as the elevator doors close. Walking to the kitchen, the scientist orders his testing results by date, only looking up as he rounds the corner.  
Where Steve is hand feeding Bucky a piece of fruit. Slowly. Or maybe that’s Bruce’s adrenaline slowing time down in his head to suspend the force of the shock. He’s not sure.  
“…And no more for you,” the-one-who-shall-not-be-associated-with-Captain-America-in-this-context finishes scoldingly, running a thumb over James’s bottom lip, “You’ll ruin your breakfast.”  
Leaning up against the counter next to an omelet-cooking Steve, Bucky leans in to brush his chest against Steve’s shoulder.  
“Mmm,” he growls (purrs? Purring should not be attributed to people who can crush heads in their hands) into the shell of Steve’s ear, “There are other things you could give me to fill me up.”  
Bruce realizes now that his previously hitherto unused fight or flight response is useless when a situation cannot be solved with Hulk. Because he’s frozen to the floor, but is neither green nor breaking the ceiling tiles.  
Chuckling, Steve presses a cup of green tea into Bucky’s hands and shoos him away. “Give Dr. Banner that tea, and help him get his papers off of the floor.” Shaking his head, he begins to stoop to pick up the files he didn't even realize he dropped. Of course, this is when Steve chooses to say loud enough for him to hear, “Before I really do give you something to fill that mouth.”  
Bruce didn’t know he could move at mach speed until he’s safe and sound back in his lab, tea in hand.

——

“Good Doctor,” Thor says, carding a hand through his hair, “I bear a question considering the nature of Midgardian affections.” He sits at the other side of a panel where he and Bruce are working on Asgardian shields for the radiation that the Bifrost creates. They’re dealing with the complications in having a dual way portal for Thor only to pass directly from Asgard to New York.  
“Mmhmm,” Bruce says absently, writing down more figures, and looking determinedly at his newest samples for surviving cell daughters. Across from him, Thor pensively steeples his fingers under his chin.  
“The concern I bear is of Captain Rodgers and his companion.”  
Bruce’s hands still instantaneously.  
“Thor?” He says quietly, remembering his breathing exercises as he forcibly uncurls his fingers. “Son of Banner?” Thor replies, one eyebrow lifted in question.  
“We do not speak of that.”  
Slowly, Thor sits back quietly and nods, his eyes wide with understanding. “Aye.”


	2. Therapeutic Playtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Fury is not amused.

  
Chapter 2: Role-play

Director Fury looks unamused at his computer screen before him displaying a video where Captain Rogers is wearing an eye patch akin to his own and stands in a dark cape looking down at Bucky, who’s on his knees in front of him with his hands clasped daintily against his chest.

“Captain,” Steve says in a gruff, affected voice on screen, “I cannot abide by any more Avengers Initiative fuckups.”

“Oh no, Director Sir!” Barnes says with a fake airy tone, looking stupidly earnest, “I’ve done my best! But that gosh darned Stark—“

“Spare me the excuses. I need results, or we’ll be finding your replacement shortly, and when I say shortly, I mean so fucking fast your skirt will blow up, Rogers.”

Rogers says, holding up a hand, looking somewhere between pissed and cocky.

“What—whatever can I do, Director? I just,” Barnes puts his hand up to his head in a maidenly fashion, “I just want to do whatever I can for America.”

“Sure as shit you do,” Steve grouses, pointing downward, “Enough with the motherfuckin’ foreplay, Rogers, get to work.”

“Yes Sir!” Bucky chirps, and pantomimes unzipping Rodger’s fly in the recording.

  
“Sir,” the Rogers standing in his office says sheepishly, pausing the video, “I think it would be fine to stop the video here.”

“Oh no,” Nick says congenially as Bucky tries not to burst into peals of laughter behind him, “We’re all adults here.” And presses play again.

  
With the imaginary zip undone, Bucky proceeds to pull at air for an exorbitant amount of time, his arms looping over each other. He wipes up pretend sweat as he works, stopping at a point to touch his heaving bosom.

“Damn, bitch, we gonna have to work you into shape. You only halfway done spoolin’ that dick out.” Rogers says, with the most intense pokerface that Fury’s ever seen. After a time, Bucky sits up and puts a hand up in a perfect salute, “All done Director Fury, Sir!”

“‘Bout motherfuckin’ time, Rogers! Now you know what to do!”

“Yessiree!” Bucky says, and starts making a looping motion about his neck.

“Yeah, keep that dick scarf nice and tight, soldier…” He growls as Bucky makes gagging noises in stereo.

  
Director Fury pauses the playback, turning back to Steve and James. “For future reference, Captain, whenever the words Avenger Initiative or Director Fury are recorded on a digital device, they are instantaneously sent to me, so you and your boyfriend would do well to keep that in mind. Dismissed.” Nodding, a blushing Steve hauls a howling Bucky off of the floor.

“Oh, and Rogers,” Fury says, perfectly calm.

“Yessir?”

“Unspool that dick scarf from around your neck before you get out in public.”

——

**Author's Note:**

> Leave your thoughts below.


End file.
